FEBRUARY 2007

28 February 2007

• "Suppose that when you met me, I told you I was this fascinating, heroin-addicted brain surgeon who'd been climbing Mount Everest..." --Uma Satyavolu Rau, on truth
• "Apart from the little glitch that she's married her brother without realizing it." --Uma
• "It's kind of like, you-just-go-if-you-do-anything-bad-rehab. ... It's almost a mythical place." --Dov Naiditch, on cultural sensitivity training
• "Must take a while. I'd have just told him." --Dov, on writing on glass
  

27 February 2007

• "Here's the deal: I've known about this tomb for 27 years." --Dr. Rebecca Denova, on archaeological discoveries
• "I'm not Satan." --Denova
• "It was like our first guided tour of Hell, kind of fun." --Denova, on the gospel of Peter
• "Sounds like the beginning of a poem. Or a Disney film." --Jeff Oaks
• "Except for the loud ones with the hot ash." --Jess Fields, on being [emotionally] hurt
• "He holds me up aloft." --Jeff, on homoeroticism in Walt Whitman's poetry
  

26 February 2007

• "Says if. Means of." --Jon Meck, on typographical errors
• "Out of context, it was just another day in the life of Jimmy." --Jerry May, on a story about Coke
  

23 February 2007

• "He's so decrepit!" --Katie
  "I don't care, he's Jesus a little bit." --Tim Patton; on Mick Jagger
• "When you hurt the part of your leg that's in the middle..." --Erin Offord
  "Funny bone!" --Cara O'Shea; playing Catchphrase
• "If I meant a pool, I probably would have started with a bucket and worked my way up." --Jon, on Cara
• "It's like a square but different." --Tom Hutchinson
  "A circle!" --Cara & Erin; playing Catchphrase
• "You put it on before you go to bed..." --Teresa Pizzella
  "Deodorant!" --Jon; playing Catchphrase
• "Vinyl siding? No. A fish ladder." --Cara
• "Helen Keller can not lip read." --Erin, on Cara
• "Mulder is not this person who acted in Zoolander." --Cara, playing X-Files Catchphrase
• "It goes stomach, penis." --Jerry May, on...um...
• "The star of Bridget Jones' Diary." --Katie
  "Fat!" --Cara
  

22 February 2007

• "I used to think, 'why didn't they all just commit suicide,' but apparently that's cheating." --Denova, on gnostics
• "As a nice gnostic will tell you, you've been misled." --Denova
• "It's called a loophole." --Denova, on vows of celibacy
• "Oh, so I'm not the only one who falls asleep?" --Denova, on Ash Wednesday mass
  

21 February 2007

• "No, I'm not in car space, I'm in walking-person space." --Alan Irvine
  
• "There's the O, you've got a pretty good show there." --Alan Irvine
  
• "How can that be, in the modern world? Everyone has cell phones." --Uma, on Lost
  

20 February 2007

• "I don't like to let everything be taught by MTV--they skip a lot." --Denova
• "The real fun? We're not Jewish." --Denova, on school discrimination
• "Nobody holds it agains the Italians....Do you?" --Denova, on traditions of persecution
• "This is where Tertullian comes up with the line that the vagina is the gateway to hell." --Denova
• "You didn't get these as bedtime stories?" --Denova, on the incubus/succubus
• "What happened to 'em? Did we burn 'em all?" --Denova, on heresy
• "I think they were heretics." --Denova, on two guys who left early
• "Alright, I am the stag in the woods." --Jeff, on Carl Phillips
  

15 February 2007

• "Don't punish them all, they're pretty good, and by the way could you give me another set because I smashed the first." --Denova, on Moses
  

14 February 2007

• "That'll be the day, when my mom picks up a GPS system and is like, 'Let's go into the woods and look for things, Carl.'"--Mel, on geo-caching
• "What's that? Ew, it's his Valentine's Day outfit." --Cara, on hockey coaches
• "Well, it's not working; he should try something else!" --Cara, on anorexia
  

13 February 2007

• "I'm now in line as the father of Anna Nicole's baby." --Denova, on pop culture
• "I have a lot of names I would want to use, except they're very prejudicial." --Denova, on church fathers
• "This is the unit in your course reader--somebody dropped a dime." --Denova, on attention span
• "That temple was a pain anyway. Let's just study the book." --Denova, on second temple Judaism
• "You think they would have learned the first time--nooo, let's revolt from Rome again." --Denova, on the Jewish Revolt
• "Every once in a while, the Armenians try to take over." --Denova, on the Church of the Holy Sepulchre
  

7 February 2007

• "It's all about the commercials and not about those kids playing the game." --Uma, on the Superbowl
• "I'm fascist about it." --Uma, on language
• "Very reassuring to know that women go in and don't come out as griffins." --Uma, on bathroom signs
• "Spelling doesn't matter, as long as you know who owes the shilling to whom." --Kevin Sharpe
  

6 February 2007

• "Egypt didn't get a say, because they worship animal heads." --Denova, on "civilization"
• "Maybe I should start over--Genesis is the first book of the Bible." --Denova
• "Alright, Dorina, you don't." --Jeff, on knowledge
  

5 February 2007

• "He couldn't believe she'd throw a pot; she couldn't believe he didn't know enough to duck." --Alan Irvine, on cultural difference
• "No it's not--I don't like that girl." --Liz Dewar, on American Apparel
  

2 February 2007

• "My pants fit me better 'cause I've been working out." --Cara
  "That's nice." --Katie
  "So does my underwear." --Cara
  "That's awkward." --Katie
• "People told me I have a rubber face." --Cara
  "Yeah, all the beauty bounces off it." --Katie
  

1 February 2007

• "This is what you have to aspire to." --Prof. Mark Kemp, on the Cathedral of Learning
  
• "How many of you have never seen The Godfather? [pause] How can you be American?" --Denova, on delinquent movie-watchers
• "God, kinda." --Denova, on the Demi-Urge