random and undated

• "They don't want to call it a mall because malls have Pretzel Time." --Matt Yergey, on the Lifestyle Center
• "They should call it Super Fun We Have a Ball Pit Place." --Kelly Hill, on the Lifestyle Center
• "Librarian's looking pretty good to me right now. I could work with my mom all day." --Stanley Saeger, on career opportunities
• "My mom still gives me a free personal pan pizza when I read a book." --Yergey, on Book It!
• "As long as it's not crap spray. I hate crap spray. That's what I used the first time." --Ron Selig, on Bath & Body Works room fragrance sprays
• "'The house is on fire, let's pray about it.' No, get out of the house." --Pastor Geoff Stevens, on prayer versus action
• "Use your 'X,' they don't know the difference." --Ron, on UpWords
• "Shove a mike in his face, he'll forget about eating. No, no, he won't forget about eating!" --Bob Pilat (my Pop-Pop) on Rich Selig (my dad) and karaoke
• "They're not women--they're Amazons." --Pop-Pop, on women in sports
• "Did I tell you? Why would I tell you?" --Shirley Pilat (my Granma), on my dad
• "Without a plan, there's no attack. With no attack, there's no victory." --Kelly McKeon, on body splash
• "We're not really permanent beings, are we?" --Jason Pippi
  "No." --Katie
  "Dammit! I hate that!." --Pippi; on Alex [Moore] getting killed in Israel

the official ron selig dictionary, 1st ed.
disclaimer: this "dictionary" was created by placing all the leftover letters onto the board at the end of an UpWords game.

1. samlork--n--baby Snorlax born underground
2. meyboe--adj.--used to described wrinkliness of the pinky toe
3. syp--n.--mini-syrup container
4. ablku--v--sprinting on a unicycle so fast that you reach 1962
5. mooailure--n.--a robotic cow's mating call
6. ledi--n.--a pen refill tube made from giraffe urine
7. kocf--pl.n.--('koh-seff) a fungus grown under the bed
8. mohwa--n.--a gangster's lawn mower
9. kaitiff--n.--(slang) a pirated clown movie
10. strast--v.--to doodle with one's nostrils
11. brnnd--v.--to disrespect, or 'dis' with fire ("Like, haha, you're an idiot, now catch this Molotov cocktail." --Ron)
12. abc--v.--to begin the alphabet
13. rqu--n.--(ur-'koo) a wrestling move involving a kick to the groin ("Dude, you just rqu'd in the nuts." --Ron)
14. nuve--v.--to comb one's toe hairs
15. cqu--pr.n.--(ke-'koo) crosbreed between a giraffe, a goldfish and a mosquito, also known as the 'dorito')
16. uvf--v.--to plant one's face into another's lower back with excessive force such as applied at breakneck speed
17. leantj--v.--to deal a deck of cards with excessive force such as applied at breakneck speed
18. ann--n.--"Ann. A-n-n." --Ron
19. landy--adj.--an anarchist or Antichrist figure who lives on land