13 October 2006

• "Having a baby is mysterious! What's goin' on?!" --Erin Offord, on mysterious
• "The Old Testament . . . is long." --Cara O'Shea, on the Bible
• "If you have two chickens and your neighbor has three chickens, do not steal the third chicken or you will be smote." --Cara, on Leviticus
• "I tried to find the Song of Solomon because I heard it was about sex, but it wasn't in my children's edition." --Cara, on the Bible
• "I thought your feet smelled." --Kelly Paul
  "Oh, shoot!" --Cara; on Cara

12 October 2006

• "I thought, 'Wow, that's literary!'" --Prof. Shalini Puri, on her daughter (antecedent comment by daughter: "Mama, you turned me into laughter!")
  
• "Who wants to sit on the bus next to Lazarus?" --Dr. Rebecca Denova, on resurrection
• "Who still wants to go?" --Denova, on the lack of sex in heaven
• "This is not a warm and fuzzy Jesus." --Denova

9 October 2006

• "Too many Cheerios." --Prof. Don Bialostosky, on chalkboards' mobility
• "What did you say? How did you offend the imagemask?" --Don B., on printing problems
• "You're talking like Aristotle is lecturing in the College of General Studies." --Don B., on specificity
  

3 October 2006

• "How many people here watch French films on a regular basis, by choice?" --Fiona Cheong, on understanding
• "Nothing he said was very interesting." --Fiona Cheong, on male characters in narrative
  

2 October 2006

• "I own a lot more than a lot of other people and it's good." --Prof. Don Bialostosky, on representative art forms
• "Oh, I hate that one." --Don B., on epiphany
  
• "Did you know that banana trees are dying?" --Margaret Krauss
  "What?!" --The Original staff
• "This'll break your ice." --Margaret, on ice-breakers

27 September 2006

• "I'm glad we have Justin Timberlake to bring sexy backs. 'I'm glad you're bringing sexy backs. Can you bring two?'" --Jerry May, on pop music
• "Wait--you're lying on me and you just Febrezed your feet." --Phil Boggs, on Jerry
• "Can you stop with the pelvic/lower-half thrusts?" --Phil
  "But I have to sing from my diaphragm." --Jerry; on molestation, and Kelly Clarkson

26 September 2006

• "Who is this masked man, and why is he in a hurry?" --Dr. Rebecca Denova, on Jesus

25 September 2006

• "Broader . . . yeah, sexier." --Prof. Don Bialostosky, on learning from poetry
• "'More fun' and 'sexy' just aren't Aristotelian terms." --Don B.
• "Page 227: 'Poetry, now that's sexy.'" --Alex Burkat
• "You watched those reruns I grew up with when they were first shown. We have a common culture." --Don B., on Nick at Nite
  

21 September 2006

• "He didn't ask the right questions: 'Who did Jesus take to the prom,' you know, stuff we really want to know." --Dr. Rebecca Denova, on Josephus
• "So halfway up, I was screaming for the ski patrol to rescue me." --Denova, on Masada
  
• "Do you have a problem with edges?" --Liz Morrone, on Katie and corners
  
• "Pigeons . . . don't you hate those things?" --Cara O'Shea

undated

• "Higher up than Philosophy--they're on 9. But not as high up as the Honors College. They're God." --Denova, on the Religious Studies Department
• "Who wants him at 45? Nobody wants a middle-aged, balding Jesus." --Denova
• "Is anyone too old for the Backstreet Boys?" --Lizzie Harris, on pop culture iconography
• "There's a difference between romantic and erotic." --Ryan Barlow, on poetic terminology
• "Yeah, those Hispanics sure are firm." --Mike Hurley, on shared knowledge
• "I'm sorry, Bjorn, are you calling me selfish?"--Mike Hurley
  "Yes." --Bjorn Edwards; on readership
• "I like your shirt!" --Katie
  "Thank you, it's geometric." --Cara
• "You don't get cocaine in fucking Mexico." --Katie
  "You get tacos and sluts." --Jason Pippi
  "And the hiv." --Phil Boggs; on cross-cultural identification (*Note: By 'the hiv,' Phil means HIV, or AIDS.)
• "See Jesus. See Jesus perform miracles. Run, Jesus, Run." --Alex, on New Testament Greek