Probably disappointing for someone.

I searched the depths of my room (or, two desk drawers) to find quotes because a Miss Kelly Hill has lately requested an update in order to review all her own instances of sparkling wit. What I came up with, mainly, was a lot of old Pitt quotes that hadn't been published, somehow, and a few other randoms, and ALL of them are undated. So...sorry to anyone who finds this less than satisfactory.

undated

• "This is from the bartender; he says don't order a Jolly Rancher again or you'll be harassed." -Dominic (Joe Mama's waiter)
  "Did you go down there and say, 'Some guy ordered a Jolly Rancher'?" -Jerry May
  "Yes." -Dominic; on Jerry's birthday and a complimentary shot.
• "So we're all going to fly in from our jobs around the country for your 21st birthday." -Jerry, on Jon Meck
• "Did your mom breast feed you both at the same time?" -Erin Offord, on twins
• "I bet Ben got more milk." -Erin, on Jon
• "He drank the rest of my supermasculinity drink." -Jerry, on the Jolly Rancher
• "It has bits of real cake." -Jason Pippi, on the Pineapple Upside-Down Cake martini
• "I have clothes in the dryer." -Phil Boggs
  "You have toes in the dryer?" -Erin
• "I like to give the homeless people something to do on the weekends--I throw it out my window." -Jon, on change
• "Number one: circumcision." -Mel
  "Number two: to be Ben." -Jerry; on Jon's Christmas list.
• "Does nobody here care that I'm a Muslim? Jesus Christ." -Tom Hutchinson, on the 'Father Abraham' song
• "Zachary has excelled at being not only white, but black." -Pippi, on Chancellor Nordenberg
• "I am the best sleeper that I know." -Jon
  "Of course, it's a competition." -Mel, on Jon as a person
• "This sounds more and more believable...he magically appeared in your room..." -Erin, on Pippi's stories
• "I'm not seeing how we went from there to sex." -Jon, on Pippi's stories
• "I wish I were a girl with less than 20/20 vision." -Jerry, on Pippi's shopping habits
• "There was ugly sex in my bed." -Mel, on roommates
• "A guy at my church bought coke off of him." -Alex Moore, on Dan Marino
• "Remember Foghorn-Leghorn? He was a crazy chicken." -Jerry, on memories
• "I like gave birth through my nose to something." -Ross Rader, on gross illness
• "He's persuasive." -Jay Deocampo
  "So was Jesus." -Katie
  "That's what I'm saying!" -Jay; probably on Ben Filio, based on statistics
• "That's such a delightful number!" -old lady at Bingo, on O66
• "As a child, it's the only thing I ever remember giving me heartburn." -Matt Yergey, on Slim Jims
• "Can you tell me, please, what is a bear bag?" -Katie
  "You put bears in it." -Kelly Hill
• "Weren't they married?" -Kelly
  "No." -Katie
  "Were they getting married?" -Kelly
  "No." -Katie
  "Wasn't she...sad?" -Kelly; on Angelina Jolie
• "You should get a bungalow." -Katie
  "A BUMgalow." -Kelly; on Ryan Hamilton and Hawai'i