1 December 2005

- "It's like when Father Time wrestles with a baby at New Year's." --Erin Schaefer
- "But a lawyer's job is to get around the letter of the law." --Tara Lane
- "Since . . . I don't get this play, and I think you delight in that . . ." --Erin, on Brumble
- "It was like, tips for when you're getting raped." --Jen Hopkins
"What, do it with a smile?" --Alex Moore
- "You want to level it and rebuild cause you want a different floor plan." --Ann McLaughlan, on beseiging cities.
- "Jen'd be like, ooo, fireworks." --Katie
"Can you make them purple next time, please?" --Jen; on fiery projectiles


30 November 2005

- "What functions do the belt buckles have in the culture." --Matt Skarada
- "Working on those questions about normal married life. Yes, Austin, do you have something to add on that?" --Prof. Don Bialostosky
- "You're a crumb." --Ann McLaughlan, on cookies
- "Holding hands and prancing through the meadows with Ed!" --Jen Hopkins
- "Have you met Jon?" --Jerry, on wastes of time
- "I've thought of rainbows a lot lately." --Jerry, on letting Katie know
- "I thought she meant the fairy that visits your vagina every month." --Jerry
- Katie: *burps* "Orange."
Ann: "Pink."
Jen: "Yellow."
Jerry: "Vagina Fairy."
- "'And what do you want this month, little girl?' 'A light day.'" --Jerry, on the Vagina Fairy
- "I don't think you can really play with the Vagina Fairy." --Casey Spirk
- "Does it smell like mashed potatoes in here?" --Katie
"Yeah, Katie, I'm making some in my bathroom." --Jen
"Well . . . can I have some?" --Katie
- "I'm bleeding." --Ann
"From your gums?" --Jen
"Oh, the Vagina Fairy missed." --Jerry


29 November 2005

- "He's gotta figure he's going to Heaven if he's murdered by a Jew." --Erin Schaefer, on The Merchant of Venice
- "How big a knife do you want?" --Dr. David Brumble
"A big one!" --Eamonn Brady and Erin Schaefer
- "I don't really look to Shakespeare for moral guidance, though." --Brumble


28 November 2005

- "Trojans! Haha, sex!" --Katie, on a t-shirt
- "Chuck Norris does not believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris."

27 November 2005

- "Go to synagogue, go to church, go to Budapest, I don't fuckin' care." --Sean Monahan, on God
- "It can be our Christmas gift to the Earth." --Carrie DuMars, on trees
- Mrs. O'Shea: "Happy birthday tomorrow, Jerry."
Jerry (into phone): "No, a large cheese. No pepperoni."
Cara (to mom): "He says thanks."


26 November 2005

- "In my family, there's classical, and Metallica." --Kelly Hill


21 November 2005

- "Oh, I won't read an outline." --Prof. Don Bialostosky
- "Would it help?" --Katie
"No." --Don B; on outside research
- "I had another question." --Amy Lee Morris
"Good." --Don B.
"Okay." --Amy
- "Do you really want to talk to me every day for the rest of your life?" --Katie
"As long as you don't poke me in the eye." --Mike Marchetto
- "So God and the parrot are one and the same." --Jen Hopkins


17 November 2005

- "The mind is a plastic vegetable." --Dr. David Brumble
- "And of course, he's an old guy, it might take him a long time to get it up." --Brumble
- "Do it dead-pan; he obviously wants to do it dead-pan." --Erin Schaefer


9 November 2005

- "Someone must have burped next door, because Jen just had an orgasm." --Ann McLaughlan
- "Whoever's got the most guys left at the end wins. Takes an hour max, you go get coffee afterwards." --Katie, on war.
- "I should just go get Starbucks and then be in my zone." --Ann, on studying


3 November 2005

- "Not only is she the sexual aggressor, she's downright carniverous." --Dr. David Brumble, on Venus and Adonis
- "A horsey love sonnet, here." --Brumble


1 November 2005

- "Who's there?" --Dr. David Brumble
"A bunch of people." --Erin Schaefer
"Thanks." --Brumble


21 October 2005

- "These metals are menu!" --Cara, on Houlihan's
- "I am full of baby!" --Cara and Jen Hopkins
- "You're like making a remix on my boob." --Matt Herring, on poking his pecs


17 October 2005

- "People like sex, they hate rat." --Dr. Bill Klein
- "If you don't vote for me, you're gonna die." --Dr. Klein


10 October 2005

- "That's not mine is it? Oh, hell!" --Prof. Don Bialostosky, on cell phones


4 October 2005

- "This chick's out of my league . . . yeah, I've got to update my language." --Dr. David Brumble


3 October 2005

- "All gerbils are adventurous." --Katie
"Unless they have epilepsy." --Erin Offord


29 September 2005

- "Happiness is all relative, is what you're saying." --Erin Schaefer


21 September 2005

- "You are the worst ebonics ever." --Cara, on Jerry
- "You look like Count Stupid." --Cara, on Jerry with a popped collar
- "You slimy son of a bitch." --Prof. Don Bialostosky
"What page are you on?" --Austin Brass


19 September 2005

- "Dice don't have brains. Dice just do their thing." --Prof. Bill Klein


7 September 2005

- "Married people are boring, right? They stay home, they watch TV, maybe they might rent a DVD! Whoa!" --Dr. Bill Klein
- "We're getting together to eat something." --Prof. Don Bialostosky
- "Two-hundred dollars worth of breasts." --Sam Morey


6 September 2005

- "How else do you spell tacky besides J-E-R-R-Y?" --Jon
- "Meatball Bison!" --Katie and Erin, on Alex's pictionary drawings


31 August 2005

- "You know what's even more awesome? Ducks that are possessed by Gilbert Gottfried." --Jerry, on AFLAC
- "And so I've been getting Jerry back by duct-taping his things to the wall." --Jon
- "It's like, 'I shot you!' 'Yeah, but I'm not dead!'" --Jon


15 August 2005

- Katie: "Question: You're on a romatic get-away weekend. Your lover wants you to 'play hooky' from your job on Monday. Do you call in sick?"
Matt Foley, Ryan Hamilton, Andrew Petro, Eric D'Epagnier, Dave Burrington and Matt Yergey: "Heck yes!"


10 February 2005

- "The Queen of England is the Queen of England." --Dr. Richard Scaglion
- "Whose name is Nestor, by the way. That should matter to you." --Dr. Scaglion, on his father
- "I'm Italian, so I like pizza. I think of everything in terms of pizza. Pizza and beer." --Dr. Scaglion


9 February 2005

- "Zero missed calls, better luck next time. My phone is very cynical--I'll pick it up: 3 missed calls. Just kidding." --Brandon Porter


8 February 2005

- "If you're going to be dramatic, pink is not the color." --Corey Rudock
- "If I wre sitting next to me, I would want to touch me, too." --Corey


27 January 2005

- "Sometimes I try to start my car with my laser pointer. I tell ya, I don't get no respect." --Dr. Scaglion
- "Were you molested by a water fountain as a child?" --Katie
"Yeah, but don't tell nobody." --Kirk Palmer


26 January 2005

- "Babies are malleable." --Alex Moore
- "Kirk!" --Cara
"I am with you always." --Kirk
- "A sort of bisexual adventurer." --Prof. Michael West
"Aren't we all?" --Doug C. Denison
"No." --Katie


25 January 2005

- "I get my loving from the cheese-man, cheese-man." --Cara on Beyonce Knowles
- "I think I just don't like things that are like everything else." --Katie
"Those carrots are similar." --Jerry
"I hate them." --Katie
"I think they're pretty." --Jerry


random

- "Can you not belch on my layer cake?" --Cara O'Shea
- "I get bloodthirsty and seek revenge on whatever it is that hurt my nose." --Jerry May
- "I've only been to hip-hop once." --Jerry
- "It was me drinking a Pepsi in my ear." --Jon Meck
- "Who invented the straw?" --Jerry
"I don't know." --Katie Selig
"Exactly--it was me." --Jerry
- "I am a sexual being." --Jerry
- "Here's your knife back. Why don't you go . . . cut some . . . bread . . . with it?" --Jon
- "So . . . what's your major?" --Jon
- "What were those balls with the weasels?" --Sammi
"Oh! Weasel-balls!" --Katie
- "On a scale from one to thursday, how drunk are you?" --Jen Wirth
"Richard Simmons!" --Katie